Misplaced Writings
by Ilvinaeda
Summary: A collection of poems, short stories, and other miscellaneous works based on characters from Final Fantasy Tactics. My first fanfic.
1. Chapter I: Poems

Misplaced Writings

An FFT Fanfic

I seriously don't want to place any long, drawn-out disclaimers, so I'll say my piece here.  Final Fantasy Tactics, the copyrighted character names, and almost everything in here basically is the sole property of Square (Squaresoft in America).  I will have a few of my own characters throughout the stories, but for the most part, you will know which ones are mine.  Okay, my piece is done.  Please read & review!

With the last few poems I have written, I have decided that I will separate the poems, with my old ones in this chapter, and any new ones (up to ten or so) in another chapter (so FF.net will finally update my "update date" position on the story).  Thanks again for all of the wonderful reviews!  Please read, review, and enjoy!  (R/R/E)

Chapter 1: Characters' Poems 

Contents:

A/N: Contents listed by publish date, with first note describing general characters involved, and then the person's journal from which it comes.  (i.e. (Name) (Who's involved or whose POV) (Author, or from whose journal))

1) Forsaken Love (Custom Char poem) (Custom Char)

2) Blood in the Darkness: An Epitaph (Custom Char poem) (Ramza)

3) Moonlit Thoughts (Ramza/Agrias) (Unknown)

4) Visions (Ramza) (Ramza)

5) Miluda's Sorrow (Miluda) (Ramza)

6) Maiden of Ice (Agrias [maybe Meliadoul, if you'd like]) (Ramza)

7) Warmth (Agrias) (Agrias)

8) Loneliness (Ovelia) (Ovelia)

9) Insecurities (Agrias) (Agrias)

10) Beyond Life (Ovelia/Delita) (Ovelia)

11) I'll be Waiting (Agrias/Ramza) (Agrias)

Forsaken Love

(A poem from Charene's diary, written 2 days before her death)

For years, we shared happiness--no, love.

A feeling which used to bring me light.

Warmth that lasted long after you left.

Memories that re-ran themselves in my mind,

Letting me believe we would be together,

Forever.

I don't know where the love went,

Whether it dissipated into the stars,

Fading in the night sky,

But over the years, you changed…

You seemed disinterested--

No, I take that back.  You seemed…

Well…distracted.

As if your love now had a new target.

And to make things worse, the one you loved,

Besides me, was my childhood friend.

She was always cheerful, bright, and bubbly.

Possessing much of the quality,

The charisma that I knew I lacked.

And the hardest thing for me to accept…

Was that it wasn't intentional.

But as time made me realize,

No matter how coincidental it might have been,

The pain struck me harder than a mace.

Cleaved at my heart, worse than the sharpest axe,

Piercing the very soul of my being,

All while watching my friends love around me.

I will admit: I am selfish.

I wanted you for myself, for it to be just us.

And I think Ajora sensed that,

And punished me for my sinful desires.

Now, wrapped in my cold cloak,

You both sit not even ten feet from me,

Yet I feel a pariah, an outcast.

I know that they will fall in love,

But this knowledge does not dull the pain.

As I watched you so many times before,

You kiss in the moonlight.

And with that kiss, something dies in me.

A love, a friendship and camaraderie…

Fading forever from my heart.

Yet, I cannot peel my eyes away…

Feeling the pain, the bitter bite of lost love,

I let it devour my heart, and my soul.

Perhaps this is what destiny dictated for me.

I don't know…and as I watch more and more,

I don't feel a need to care.

Nothing will comfort the ache, the dull pain,

Which still lingers within me.

I live with my feelings bottled up.

Perhaps I can serve my friends in a last, final way.

At least, then, my death wouldn't be wasteful,

Or cruel, or foolhardy.

It sounds so selfish…but what else can I do?

I'm suffering…I hurt.

The memories which still run loops in my mind

Only serve to remind me of a fate I once desired.

The warmth, now dry, and severe, sears me.

Hardening my heart to all other feelings.

Yet nothing digs deeper than our last moments,

Together, on the rooftops of Gariland.

You said that there was something drawing your heart.

And I believe you…more than you'll ever know.

The only thing I can liken the pain to is a knife.

Dull, rusted, and ethereal, it is invisible.

Yet its digging stabs and cuts never cease.

Tearing into my flesh, into my being.

I'm dying from within.

I'd love to see you happy…and that,

Regardless of the girl in your arms,

Was the one thing I desired for you.

But, as they say, a price is paid for every wish granted.

And I paid all right…in a substance worse than blood.

My emotion-hardened heart desires but one thing now:

Death.  Bloody, sickening, brutal, and painful.

So, Ajora, if you can hear me…grant me one last wish.

Let me die for those I love, and let Brett and Amy,

My friends, my closest of buddies,

Live together in happiness.

Blood in the Darkness: An Epitaph

(A poem from Ramza's journal)

Regardless of how many years pass,

Even now, in the darkness of Sweegy Woods…

Still, I can remember a day, not so long ago,

There was a night battle, in which we lost a friend.

In the black of night,

Nine goblins rushed us.

Partha dashed out to the side and tried to gain some bearing.

Even Brett, who slept like a log, bolted awake, and drew his sword.

Amy managed to grab a few shuriken and took one down during the ambush.

Chris kicked Keane awake, and stood ready, to defend his position.

Everyone was awake, and safe…all but one.

Curled up in her blankets, Charene cried softly.

Her heart had been broken by someone she loved.

Angry, sad, and most of all, imbrued with despair,

Riled with self-loathing and hate, she fought bravely.

Even outnumbered five to one, she held on.

Never missing a step, never slacking her guard.

Ever the vigilant, brave knight we all knew.

While in the midst of battle,

In her rage and fury,

Neglected to see a goblin coming at her back.

Ducking a frontal blow, she recovered,

Straight into the goblin's tackle.

In desperate straits, she told us to run.

Like a true knight, she valued our safety over her own.

Killed defending her friends, and dying an honorable death.

Moonlit Thoughts

(A poem written in both Ramza's and Agrias' journals, author unknown)

Once long ago, I used to deny it.

That I could have ever loved you.

"Of course, who could love that lousy excuse of a human being?"

But as we have traveled together,

I realize that there is much more to the heart than fighting,

Or appearances and facades.

For all the masks and cloaks fall away under the darkness of twilight.

Tonight, I wander upon the plains of Mandalia.

The moonlight is wonderful, and it gives a shiny white coat to everything.

I picture you in that light.

My angel…my savior…my soul mate…

And as I think such thoughts, I wonder…

Do you think of me that way too?

I don't know what to feel, or what to say.

I only know that I long to be with you.

I hold you in my arms, in my dreams every night.

And when I wake up, the reality hits me harder than a hammer.

Something inside of me burns…I must know the truth.

So how do you feel?  Write me again sometime…

Please, tell me, if not in words, in gestures.

In some other language, in pictures even.

I MUST know.

Please…is it real?

Visions

(A poem from Ramza's journal)

Visions of pain…

Indescribable pain…

Scenes of what was once happiness…

It just won't leave my mind.

Of course, these things shouldn't even concern me.

Night or day, God will allow us to prevail.

So why do they bug me this way?

Visions of death…

In illuminated hallways…

Splashes of blood that once belonged to friends.

I don't know how, but I know whose each is.

Ovelia's there, Lavian's in that corner…

No amount of consoling can comfort my soul,

Seeing this scene, as if it were true.

Visions of suffering…

I never want to see again.

Suffering like Delita must have felt…

In the snows of Fort Zeakden…

Only now, the pain resides here.

No one else knows what I see.

Still, the images rip my mind apart.

Visions of my friends…

In their final moments…

Seeing their dying forms twitch and shiver.

I kneel beside Agrias now, holding her hand.

Only her hand, once warm, is now cold as ice.

No, this cannot be.  I control my visions.

Something is messing with my mind.

Visions of the truth.

In the hallways of Igros.

Seeing my brother, Dycedarg, for the bastard he is.

In my mind, I know he will be the one.

Old family, or new friends.

No choice will be harder.

Still, I know what I must do.

Visions of betrayal.

Ill-founded hatred and distrust.

Something has set our allies upon us.

I hate my brother…

Only he could have done this.

No family could be this cruel toward its own kin.

So tomorrow, we will march.

Visions of victory…

In the light of morning…

Steel blades drawn, we set forth.

In the hallways of Igros,

Old memories surface, of love, of family.

No, these memories are my past.

So forgive me, father, but I must go on.

Visions which have dissipated.

In my mind, I no longer watch my friends die.

Something has led us from the pain.

I smile, and look toward the sunset.

On the hill, I watch Agrias practice her sword techniques.

Not dead, or hurt, or even scratched.

She's alive, and the day will bring much.

My visions have brought me much suffering.

Even today, I feel the pain from the scars they left.

Every other minute, I look back, just to make sure…

Their prophecy has not come to pass.

Rising again the next morning,

Everyone seems to have gotten up before me.

All seems well, though.

Lavian, Alicia, Ovelia, and Agrias…all are well.

Illusive thoughts bother me no more.

The memory can finally rest…

Yes, let it rest, and let our realities shape our lives.

_At least for now._

Miluda's Sorrow

(From Ramza's journal)

Back then, when I looked into her eyes,

I saw nothing but anger and hate…

A painful feeling full of loneliness and death.

And yet, now, as she dies,

As if it were a twist in Fate,

She silently speaks to me with her last breath.

Those few words, I will never forget…

Words full of sadness and regret…

"…please tell Wiegraf that I'm sorry…"

"…that I…failed him."

The Maiden of Ice

(From Ramza's journal)

Every time I look at that young knight…

I feel something stir in me.

Is it pain?  Deep thought?  Anger?  I don't know.

It's impossible for me to read her face.

Her face, fixed into a blank stare,

Is much like what people call a "card face."

No emotion, no reaction…

Just a chilling, calculating front…it scares me.

She always seems so distant…so cold.

She even fights with swords of ice.

Although she probably hates me for it,

I sometimes call her the "Ice Queen."

But, all that aside, she is my friend.

And she is also very beautiful.

My quiet, solemn comrade, cool as ever.

And I love her.

Warmth

(A poem from Agrias' journal)

Warmth is a funny feeling.

It smells like fresh mountain air in the morning

It sounds like the calm breezes blowing over Mandalia Plains.

It looks like an angel's radiant glow.

It feels comforting, like a nice, hot bath.

It tastes like a fresh, steaming gourmet dinner

Warmth makes me happy.

Warmth reminds me of friends.

It smells like Lavian's soft perfume.

It sounds like Mustadio's deep tenor.

It looks like Delita's handsome face.

It feels like a big hug from Alicia.

It tastes like Ramza's morning coffee.

Warmth keeps me company.

I'll never feel sad as long as I can feel warmth.

Loneliness

(A poem from Ovelia's diary)

I'm lonely…

For years, it's been this way.

Everyone avoids me…

Everything I say seems to go forgotten…

Like an old maid who doesn't belong.

Lavian, Alicia, and even Agrias…

Occasionally, they'll talk to me…

Not for very long, though.

Every time, it feels like they have something to do.

Like "patrol the perimeter…" or stuff like that.

I know that it's not always true…

Not that I'd want to force them to talk to me, though.

Everyone has their reasons…but it still hurts.

So, if anyone ever gets to read this lost piece of my mind…

Someone, please…I need someone to love.

Insecurities…

(A poem from Agrias' journal)

This strange feeling…what is it?

I feel it whenever I'm around Ramza…

It makes my hands tingle…my feet cold…

It makes my face red…and my body shiver.

I don't understand…why do I feel this way?

It's not like I like him or anything…

It's weird…I just can't put my finger on it.

I mean, he's a nice guy and all…

But I don't really like him THAT way…

I wish I knew what this feeling is called…

Because it scares me…

Its identity lurking in the shadows…

Telling me to be more honest with myself…

But the truth of my feelings is the scariest…

For if what I fear is right…

That would mean I'm in "love" with him…

And that's just not possible…right?  Or is it…?

Beyond Life

(A poem from Ovelia's diaries)

What lies beyond the end of life?

From what I've seen, experienced…

…there is no God…

For He would have never let this happen…

So what happens to us then, when we face death?

Do we just die?  Or do we really have souls…

Souls which continue on long after the body perishes…

I wish I knew…for I wish for death to come…

To take my tortured mind and put it to rest.

To whatever lies beyond, embrace my dying form…

When I go to kill Delita tomorrow…take me too.

Let us both find peace and rest in the depths of Hell.

I'll be Waiting

(A poem from Agrias' journals)

So what happens at the end of our journey?

Will we split up, and go our separate ways?

…will I ever see you again?

I spent more than a few nights thinking,

Trying to find those ever-evasive answers…

Though we have all traveled the hard path,

Not all of us will make it to the end…

But, I found something last night…

A special little answer to all of my problems…

I love you…

…and although I'd never admit it…

I'd follow you anywhere, and do anything for you.

And even if I don't make it tomorrow,

If I die, and my soul leaves this body…

Or even if you don't feel the same way about me…

Even if you have another special one in your heart… 

I'll be waiting…Ramza.

So, how did you like it?  Please review!  Whatever comments, good, bad, funny, sour, or such…they will all help me write better stuff for you!  ^_^ Thanks again for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!


	2. Chapter II: More Poems

Misplaced Writings

An FFT Fanfic

I seriously don't want to place any long, drawn-out disclaimers, so I'll say my piece here. Final Fantasy Tactics, the copyrighted character names, and almost everything in here basically is the sole property of Square (Squaresoft in America). I will have a few of my own characters throughout the stories, but for the most part, you will know which ones are mine. Okay, my piece is done. Please read & review!

This is my second chapter of poems. I hope that using this format, my poems and stuff won't be stuck so far in the back of the FFT story listing!

Please read, review, and enjoy!

Contents:

*(New)*

1) A Crimson Dream (????) (Custom Char)

2) My Special Someone (Alma/????) (Alma)

3) Tears of Jade (Meliadoul) (Meliadoul)

4) The Destined Two (Ramza/????) (Alma)

5) A Fallen Angel (Ramza/Miluda) (Ramza)

A Crimson Dream

(A poem from Charene's diary)

Last night, I dreamt a dream.

It is not unlike my dreams of late.

I do not feel scared by these dreams…

Rather, they intrigue me…

As my interests have changed,

So have my desires, and my dreams.

And tonight, I wish to tell you about that dream.

Perhaps you can tell me the meaning of it all.

A young male knight ran through the woods.

He looked about frantically, as if searching for something.

I did not understand the running,

Nor do I remember much of what I saw.

Rather, I began to pay attention again as he slowed.

A young female knight lay against the roots of a tree.

And then, as if a sudden understanding hit me,

Information flooded me, telling me what he was doing.

They had both been deserters from the armies of Ivalice.

He from the Nanten, and she from the Hokuten.

How they met, I do not know…but one thing is clear.

They loved each other, and ran away together.

This was to be their meeting spot, their rendezvous.

The place where they would start a new life together.

But something was desperately wrong.

The crimson of blood dripped from armor.

They were wounded, probably while deserting.

He still had part of an arrow shaft in his arm.

Blood spilled from his arm once,

And his tunic was still stained with the mark of a wound.

The other, however, was worse off.

Smiling weakly as he approached,

She held a cloth to her chest,

A cloth soaked in the crimson of blood.

As he knelt gently by her side,

He pulled something from his pack.

Unwrapping it, he poured fluid onto another cloth,

And replaced the one at her chest.

His efforts seemed to be in vain,

For it was clear to me that she would die.

Too poor to afford a Phoenix Down,

The man sat by his friend, and watched her rest.

Her eyes, so full of pain and despair,

Told me more than I ever wanted to know.

She knew she wouldn't live long…

Yet she smiled…one so loving and warm.

"I'm sorry…it wasn't supposed to be like this."

"Of course not…but we both knew the risks…"

"Still…it was my mistake…and you were hurt because of that."

"I'm glad you came back…and that's all that matters now."

Crimson liquid flows from the wound at her chest.

The wound has opened again, and death looms nearby.

Her tired eyes look to her wound, and then to him,

And as blood flows from her mouth, she falls into his arms.

The dream ends abruptly here, as I am wakened.

I jolt upward in my bed, shivering from the cold outside.

My head is pounding, the details fresh in my eyes.

The slight reddish glare in my vision troubles me.

I don't know what to think…my mind is warping.

I shouldn't be feeling apathy toward the couple.

My heart is hardening…and it scares me.

Is this heartlessness part of a soldier's fate?

No…it is probably me.  I am shunning my emotions.

The very emotions which let me know love…

They have betrayed me, and they now slice at my heart.

Like that girl, I bleed crimson, but in a place no one can see.

Someone help me…please.  My heart will not live much longer.

And when it dies, I will cease to be the person you all know.

My Special Someone

(A poem from Alma's diary)

As I gaze up at the stars tonight,

I think of a special someone.

Of course, anyone who knows me knows him too,

But that doesn't really matter.

He loves me, and I love him.

What more could I ask for?

He is the one who I can talk to when I feel scared.

He is the one whose visage keeps me warm at night.

True, we don't always see eye-to-eye…

But I expected some friction between us,

For we are unique in ourselves, after all.

Even the closest of couples have their arguments.

I don't think I really thought about it this way until now…

But I'm really glad that I was able to meet him…

A humble soldier from Lesalia, and the sister of the "heretic…"

Who would have ever thought we'd ever be together?

Tonight, I think of all the lonely souls…

Those who have not found their "special one."

It makes a part of my heart tingle, and I feel strange.

It hurts…the pain is dull, but it still stings.

I hope everyone gets to find that special someone.

Everyone deserves that chance…

Because I wouldn't want to go on without him.

And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one thinking this.

War hardens our hearts, and tempers our minds.

They shut out a part of our souls that makes us human.

It scares me to think that when my love fights,

He will end the dreams and hopes of another…

But at the end of all of this, I'll go home…

He will be home from guard duty, waiting at the door.

I try to forget that there is a war happening in the world,

And I go inside, to be with my special someone tonight.

Tears of Jade

(A poem from Meliadoul's diary)

A world of jade…

The color which I have always liked.

My cloak, a deep forest green,

My sword, with beautiful emeralds in its hilt,

My room, with the olive curtains and bedspread…

It's a color which defines who I am.

A jaded world…

A color which has come to dominate my thoughts.

My cloak wears my jaded past.

My jaded sword, full of hate and cynicism,

My room, the home of all that I knew…

All have turned against me, my life, my faith…

And so what became of one such as I?

With no one to run to, no one to seek for comfort…

I hardened my heart to the world as it had done to me…

Only to find more unhappiness…

Maybe existence is the eternal Hell I feared so…

But I am a fallen one…and such is the color I wear.

My world is jade, and is jaded.

As am I, with my jaded form…

Everything about me reeks of pessimism and hate.

I wish I could change…

I wish he could change me…

And allow me to be a child…

The child I never had the chance to be…

Or to make me into a lady…no, a woman.

And save me from this jade prison I have trapped myself within.

The Destined Ones

(A poem from Alma's diary)

As I sit here by the campfire,

Two shadows glide past me.

It is too dark to see their faces…

But I think I know who they are.

The one on the left is probably Ramza.

I would recognize his silhouette anywhere.

The other, I cannot discern.

It is a girl, from what I can see…

The long hair, color indistinguishable…

The flowing dress…something that few wear here…

And the silver barrette…sparkling in the moonlight.

But who could it be? I have no clue.

And I have not the time to tell,

As they disappear into the trees quickly.

I wonder what thoughts my brother has…

His malicious little mind…no, I am kidding.

But still…why alone, and in the dark?

I wait in my blankets, awaiting their return.

I hear nothing, and before they return,

I drift off to sleep.

A rustle of leaves woke me then,

And what I saw shocked me.

Although I had to fake my sleep,

I tried my best to identify the mystery girl.

They sat across from me, talking…

Of what, I could not specifically hear.

Her voice, gentle and soothing,

Almost motherly…if that is the right description,

One I didn't remember hearing in our squad before.

And then he kissed her.

My brother kissing…yuck…

And yet I can't get the image out of my head.

Which is why I write to you now, my diary.

Tell me, if you can…who that mystery girl is.

Because I'm his little sister, and I have to know…

A Fallen Angel

(A poem from Ramza's journal)

Last night I dreamt of an angel…

A most beautiful creature,

Robed in glowing silk, gilded with gold.

A rare gem, a misplaced jewel…

But as I moved closer to it,

I saw something I never noticed before.

Its left wing had been torn off,

And it was crying openly, if silently.

Its face looked so familiar…

Ah, yes, I remember now…

She once was a brave knight,

Whom we fought with to the death.

Although her body and garb changed,

I would never forget the face of that maiden.

The one we killed so long ago…

Wiegraf's sister, Miluda…

As she cried there, I wanted to comfort her,

I tried to offer a comforting hand…

And saw that her arms, too, were gone.

As were her legs, although I failed to notice earlier.

She was a dismembered corpse…no.

She was a severed soul.

And I watched, to my horror,

As that angel fell to the hard earth,

Blood pouring from her limbless form.

She looked at me, eyes full of sadness,

And although she could not speak,

I understood perfectly what she wanted to say.

"Why couldn't we coexist…?"

That question plagues me even now.

Years later…I still don't have an answer.

I wish I could tell you, Miluda…

War continues even now, in Ivalice…

And I remember, you asked me…

Not as a knight, or as a noble,

But as a human being…a maiden,

On the verge of death, if we could be friends.

And I regret that the only thing I can give you now,

Is the very thing I could not share with you in life.

Let's be friends…if not now, in another life.

Let's not fight…and live happily together…

Let's coexist in this place…

And regardless of who we are,

You, a fallen angel, who died upon a battlefield years ago…

Me, a knight who has strayed from the path of faith…

At least here, in our dreams, we can be together.

So, how did you like it? Please review! Whatever comments, good, bad, funny, sour, or such…they will all help me write better stuff for you! ^_^ Thanks again for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!


	3. Chapter III: Short Stories

Misplaced Writings

An FFT Fanfic

Disclaimer: FFT, copyrighted characters, places, names, etc, all property of Square.  (I don't need to say this stuff…you guys reading all know the same stuff.)  Please R/R, and enjoy!  Thanks! 

Thanks again to all my reviewers!  And I am truly sorry for the wait.  It took me forever to think of something new…and it's kinda short too.  I spent much of my time recently on school stuff and a Kikyo fic for Inuyasha…I'm a Kikyo fan.  So anyway, read, review, and enjoy!  ^_^

Chapter 3: Short Stories (from the characters' point of view)

Contents:

*New*

1) In My Dreams [New Version] (Delita/Ovelia)

2) One Cold Night…from Ice to Smiles (Ramza/Agrias)

3) A Cruel Destiny (Miluda/Delita)

In My Dreams

(A short story with Delita and Ovelia)

        _Day 25 of my incarceration…_

        _I really can't believe it…Delita, the man who kidnapped me so many months ago…it's like he's a changed man.  I've heard tidbits and such of his past…seems his sister was killed in the Fort Zeakden incident.  Still, I hated him for kidnapping me, but over the past weeks, he's been the only one to treat me as a person, and not just a "thing."  Could he really be my knight in shining armor?  I…_

        "Ovelia, are you in there?" a voice called from outside her cell.

        Ovelia jumped a bit as she looked nervously toward the door.  She hurriedly closed her diary and shoved it under her blankets, along with the small piece of charcoal she used to write with.  "Who is it…?" she inquired.

        "It's me, Delita," the voice replied.  "Can I come in?  I brought you some food."

        (Delita…?  Of all people…did it have to be him, and now?)  "S-Sure…" she managed to stutter out between her thoughts, and turned to the door to watch Delita enter her cell, carrying a tray of food and a bundle of something.

        "Here you go," he said plainly as he put her food down in front of her.  "Please eat," he said forcefully.  He set the bundle down beside her and waited.

        Ovelia looked over her "meal," which was more or less a piece of old, very stale bread and a bowl of some sort of funny-smelling soup.  She stared glumly at it.  (My knight…brings me leftovers…)  "Why do you people want me here?" she asked him dejectedly.  "You said it yourselves; I'm not the real princess…"

        "That may be true, but we still need you," Delita said, adjusting his cloak.

        "But why, then?"  Ovelia turned her head away from the food, and tears began to form in her eyes.  "I'm not even nobility…just some commoner look-alike that one of you picked off of the street…I overheard your conversation last night."  The warm droplets forming in her eyes began to fall, and they splashed about her blankets, since that was about all that covered her otherwise "undressed" form.

        "That may be true, but we are the only ones who know of your true identity.  So, therefore," Delita said, turning to Ovelia, "to the rest of Ivalice, you are still the 'princess'…and we need that."

        A long silence lingered in the room.  Both Ovelia and Delita stared off into nothingness, Ovelia at the floor, and Delita at the small window in the cell, into the night.  The tears ran much more fluently now, and as they gently ran down her cheeks, Ovelia stared at the floor.  (So this was all a game then…even my knight intends to use me…and then, once they're done with me…)  She shook her head at the last thought, not wanting to ponder upon her supposed fate.

        "…so, you're going to use me then…" Ovelia whispered, between muffled sobs.

        "Yes, they intend to use you."  Delita continued to stare at the small hole at the top of her cell, which was her only source of light and fresh air.  "And when they are done with you, they will probably dispose of you afterwards, so no one will know of the truth."

        (My worst fears confirmed…they'll use me as a…as bait…or worse…and then they'll have my dead body dumped in some alleyway once they no longer need me…)  "So why keep me alive then…?"  Ovelia asked him accusingly as she stared at the knife on her tray.  "Unless you enjoy watching me suffer…which is just cruel."  With a stifled cry, Ovelia grabbed the knife on her tray and aimed the point gently at her breast.  "Why not just let me die…"  (And let my suffering end here, before it gets any worse…)

        Delita quickly knocked her knife hand away with his right hand, as he placed his left on her shoulder.  He slowly knelt down beside her.  "Listen to me, Ovelia.  They might not think of you as much, but that is them.  I have a different plan in mind for us."

        "What do you mean?"  Ovelia looked up into his eyes, her own still filled with moist tears.  She shifted uncomfortably, since she was wearing only her undergarment and her blanket.  (A different plan…?  Oh no…don't tell me…)

        "I mean, I don't want to see you used and discarded," Delita quietly explained to her.  "After they are done with you, I want to take you to a place far away from here, somewhere we can both belong…and a place where you will be a queen."

        (What…?)  "But you said yourself, I'm just a commoner…peasant 'trash.'"  Ovelia stared at the ground again, as more tears splashed upon the cold cell floor.  "What could I possibly be worth to you?"  (No, he couldn't…I'd never…)

        "You're beautiful…just like my younger sister…" Delita quietly mumbled.  "You're worth a lot to me.  I want you to be my queen."

        ('Worth'…so that's what he intends…I mean nothing to him…)  "So, you'll just use me too…"  Ovelia let a single, lonely tear trickle from her cheek.  She looked up toward him…her captor, tormentor, and 'knight' all in one…and felt her despairing mind crumble.  More silence ensued.  (If you really want to help me now, Delita, kill me…please…)

        "No, on the contrary, I will not use you."  Delita turned to the window again.  "I want you to be there beside me, when I get my revenge…when those tables turn…when those who have used us will be used BY us!" Delita soundly but silently declared to Ovelia, and the night sky, as well.  "But until that time, my queen, you must eat.  Please."  He handed her the spoon and retrieved the knife.  "You must eat, if you want to live…"

        "…but I don't want to live…I hate this."  Ovelia grabbed the knife again.  "I hate my life…the Church…everything.  The lies…the power struggle…I wish it would all end here."  She slowly drew the knife up again, and placed the tip of the knife back where it had been just minutes before, at her breast, and smiled wanly.  "Please, Delita…let me die.  Let me end my suffering."  (Please…)

        "Had it been any other woman, I might have said yes."  Delita turned to Ovelia, and pulled the knife away again.  "But you, my dear…I don't want to see your life end this way."  He then proceeded to hug her, embracing her shivering form in his arms.  "Don't cry, Ovelia.  We all suffer now and then…it's part of this misery we call life."  He released her, and let her regain some of her composure.  "But it passes."

        (W-What did he just do…to me…?)  Her mind running in circles, she was absolutely stunned.  (Since when did I say he could hold me…?  But it did feel good…oh, God, what's happening to me…)

        Delita broke a few pieces of bread from the stale loaf and put them into her soup.  "Please eat, my princess.  Your meal's getting cold."

        Ovelia looked at the warm knight, with tears still clouding her vision.  (Maybe he is my knight in shining armor…the one who will take me to his castle in the far horizon…in a land we can call our own…away from here, and all the bad memories.)  She slowly dipped her spoon into the now-cold soup and, scooping up a small chunk of broken bread, took a bite.  Its intense and sour flavor made her cringe, and more tears began to return to her eyes, but as Delita urged her on, she ate, if rather slowly.  When she was finally full, she looked at Delita, who was smiling.

        "You're so beautiful, Ovelia…don't cry.  You have a lot you can still live for."  He gathered up the tray, and bowing to her, walked toward the door.  "Oh, and that bundle is for you.  There's a small dress inside…I hope it fits."  He exited, almost as quietly as he had come.

        Only after the cell door closed again, and Delita had left, did Ovelia pull the diary from under her covers again, and finish writing in her diary.

        _Beautiful?  It's the first time anyone's said that to me…_  _Thank you for everything, Delita.  For coming tonight, for being with me as I cried…and for giving me something…someone to live for…thanks.  I don't know what my fate will be, but I look forward to that day…when I can finally escape from this prison…and become free.  And then, I will…I will be your queen, if you still desire me to be so.  It's the least I can do for all your kindness.  Thanks for a wonderful night._

_Ovelia._

_        She silently stared at the stars, and smiled, waiting for another such night to come._

One Cold Night…from Ice to Smiles

(A short story with Agrias and Ramza)

        Ramza looked out into the darkness.  Guard duty, especially night watch, was usually supposed to be nerve-wracking, suspenseful, and kept most people on their toes…but these past few nights, Ramza hadn't seen, heard, or by any other basic sense detected anything out in dark tangle of trees and swamp that made up Sweegy woods.  _Must be the time of year…the goblins are all hiding in their dens and caves and such…it's just too damn cold._

        "Hey, Ramza," a voice called out to him.  "Anything out there?"

        "No, Mustadio…nothing out here."  Ramza looked around again.

        "Why do we keep posting mobile night watches then?" Mustadio appeared in front of Ramza, shivering.  "It's so friggin' cold out tonight…and there hasn't been a single thing in these woods for the past three days…"

        "I'm sorry, Mustadio."  Ramza patted his friend on the shoulder, and sighed.  "It's just that I've heard a lot of rumors about thefts and such in these woods, particularly about this time of the year…I just want to make sure we don't get jumped by anyone."

        "Ahh…it's ok, Ramza."  Mustadio tightened the cloak around his body.  "It's still so damn cold…let's just go back to the camp."

        "Yeah…we should.  It's just too friggin' cold out here."  The two began to walk back to the camp, silently.

        _Damn…it's so cold tonight…just like the past two nights.  …I know Agrias is going to hit me over the head for this one, but I just have to laugh at it…can't stop thinking that she might be the one causing all of this bad weather.  She can be so moody at times…more like all the time.  She's rarely talked to anyone, even to Lavian or Alicia, for the past few days…I wonder why?_

        "…so anyway, Ramza…what do you think of Agrias?" Mustadio asked, breaking the silence.

        "Huh?"  Startled and surprised, Ramza turned to his friend.

        "I mean, what do you think of her?"  Mustadio stopped for a moment.  "She just seems so cold at times…like now."  He chuckled.  "Remember the other day, you were telling me how you thought she seemed like an "mistress of ice, incapable of humor or feeling…"

        "Hey, hey…Mustadio…not so loud,"  Ramza chided his friend.  _Although the weather now really suits her personality…  _The two friends joked a bit, particularly at Agrias' expense, as they continued along.

                ***

        Meanwhile, back at camp…

        _It's so cold tonight…_

        Agrias Oaks woke with a shiver.  It was cold at that time of year, just before the snows of winter arrive, but long after the leaves had fallen from the trees.  Covered only by a small blanket, Agrias quickly reached over to her bag and pulled out a thick coat.  _That feels better…at least I'll be a bit warmer.  She curled up again and tried to go back to sleep._

        However, it would seem that someone didn't want her to fall back into slumber that night.  She tossed and turned in her blanket, and only got colder and colder as the winds picked up and blew cold air under her covers.  _God, damn this wind…it's so friggin' cold…who did I anger to deserve this?_  She finally gave up on trying to return to sleep, deciding that it was simply too miserable and cold to try.  Angry, more or less at the weather, she picked up a small stone and threw it into the darkness.  _Damn you, stupid wind…I hate you…can't even get some decent rest._

        "Ahh!" A voice cried out in the darkness.

        _Oh, damn…what was that?_  Agrias looked over in the direction from where the voice came, but saw no one.  She reached for her sword, and withdrew it from its scabbard.  She looked about sharply.  _Whoever the hell that was…I'm not taking any chances._

                ***

        As if out of nowhere, a small missile flew and struck Ramza squarely in the head.

        "OWW!!!" Ramza shouted as he fell backward into the brush.  _Owww…god damn, what the hell was that?  Beside him, Mustadio drew his gun, looking around into the darkness._

        "…yo, Ramza, you alright?" Mustadio quickly and quietly asked his friend.

        "…yeah, I guess."  Ramza began to get up, still a bit dazed from the stone.  "What the hell was that?"

        "I have no idea…"  Mustadio shook his head.

_        Damn…if there are goblins in the woods…  "We should get back to camp, Mustadio.  In case there's goblins about."_

        "Yeah…I hope not."  Mustadio nodded toward the camp.  "Let's hurry."  Running, at a brisk pace, the two friends hurried toward the camp.

                ***

        _Footsteps…from the same direction as the scream…I'd better be ready._  Agrias crouched down, and listened for the falls of the feet, the crunch of the leaves.  _They're close…really close…and they're running…_  Sword drawn, she quietly began summoning her Stasis Sword.  _I'll catch them…they won't slip by me…_

                ***

        As Mustadio and Ramza entered camp, they were hailed by shards of raining ice.

        "Stasis Sword!" a voice shouted from the darkness.

        "Whoa!" Ramza shouted as he dashed to the side.  _God damn…a renegade Holy Knight?  This could get dangerous really fast…  "Watch out!" he shouted to his friend._

        "Got you!" Mustadio shouted as he shot rapidly at the unknown figure.

        Meanwhile, Ramza quickly darted right and left, trying his best to avoid the multiple shards of falling ice threatening to cripple him.  However, after dodging the first three, the final, and largest one hit him square in the back.  He stumbled forward, feeling now colder than ever.  _God be damned…whoever this Holy Knight is, she's good…wait…that voice…sounds familiar…_

                ***

        "Stasis Sword!"  Agrias initiated her attack with her charged spell.  Upon releasing her first one, the assailants split up, and she continued to pursue the one who darted to the right.  She cast Stasis Sword once more, this time making sure that the shards would fall in line with her assailant.  After missing again and again, she finally got one to hit.  _Hah…I've got you now…you'll pay for trying to sneak up on our group…  Satisfied that her first opponent was stunned, she then turned to the other, who was firing at her, with considerable accuracy.  Managing to somehow avoid or block the majority of his shots up until now, she turned to him, and readied another spell.  _They'll pay…__

                ***

        The unknown assailant, who had already hit Ramza, now turned toward Mustadio, who was still in the process of loading more bullets into his gun.  Managing to load but a single bullet, he shot it at the assailant, trusting his aim.  "Come on, lucky shot…" he prayed as he fired.

        The bullet struck his opponent's sword, managing at least to knock it away.

        "Damn…"Mustadio cursed to himself as he charged at his assailant.

        Meanwhile, Ramza finally started to move again, as the effects of the stasis wore off.  _I have to know if it's her…_  "Agrias!" he shouted out.

        As he shouted her name, the Holy Knight slowed.  _Oh, God…what have I done?  Is that…Ramza…?  _

"Ramza, is that you!?" she shouted back.

        The two parties both slowed now, each recognizing the other as allies.  Ramza, Mustadio, and Agrias all stared at one another, barely believing the scene they were in.  Fortunately, the others had not been stirred by their short battle, and the three gathered around the dull embers of their dying campfire.

        "Haha…hoo boy…don't I feel like an idiot now…" Mustadio chided to himself.  "I'm just glad the others didn't see that…"

        "Yeah…I second that."  Ramza chuckled to himself.  As he watched Agrias, however, he noticed that she didn't seem to share in their laughter.  She just looked more shocked than anything else.  _The humorless ice maiden…as always…she'd be so much more beautiful if she would just lighten up…_  

        "Don't you find this a bit funny, Agrias?" Mustadio asked the quiet young knight.

        "Umm…I don't know…" Agrias turned away.  _How embarrassing…I ended up fighting my own friends and hurting Ramza…I feel so stupid.  I'm nothing but a failure…can't even recognize my own friends in the darkness…_

        "Hey, Agrias, don't worry about tonight so much, if that's what's been bothering you."  Ramza turned back to the darkness.  "It sure is cold though…"

        "Yeah…"  Agrias sighed.  "Hey, I'm sorry, guys…I thought you were bandits lurking in the woods…"  _I know they say not to worry about it, but it's not that simple…people don't forgive and forget so easily…_

        "Hey, like Ramza said, don't worry about it."  Mustadio smiled.  "Besides, we all were at fault for starting the fight.  It wasn't just you."  Mustadio yawned heavily.  "Sure takes it out of you, though…you put up one hell of a fight…if you guys don't mind, I'm going to get some rest."  Mustadio walked off toward the rest of the sleeping group.  "Night, guys."

        "Night, Mustadio."  Ramza turned to Agrias.  "So are you going back to sleep too?"

        "I tried earlier…it's just too cold."  Agrias shivered.  _Just too cold…_

        "Will this help?"  Ramza wrapped his cloak around her shivering form.

        "Ramza?"  Agrias turned to Ramza.  "It's alright…I mean, aren't you going to be cold?"

        "Yeah, but it's alright."  Ramza smiled warmly at her.  "Besides, girls tend to be a bit colder than guys anyhow, so don't worry about it."

        "Thanks…"  _Why is he being so nice to me, especially after I hit him with my Stasis Sword…?  Does that mean he really forgives me then?  He makes me so happy…in the strangest of ways…_  "I feel a lot warmer now, thanks."

        "You know, you should smile more."  Ramza looked up at the stars.  "Your smile…it's really beautiful…reminds me so much of Alma."  He placed his arm around her shoulders.  "So please, Agrias…smile.  Smile for anything you can think of that's good in your life."

        _Smile…?  But…how can I smile?  It just seems so…not me._  "…umm…Ramza…how do you…smile so easily?"  Agrias looked up intently into his eyes.  "How…what makes it so easy for you…?"

        "Well…uhh…" _What is Agrias thinking?  Can she really be serious?  I thought everyone knew how to smile…  "…well, what makes you happy?  Can you remember anything that would make you smile?"_

        _If it's really that simple, just to think happy thoughts…_  "Umm…like this?" Agrias asked as she attempted a smile.  "Is this right…?"

        "Yeah, you're getting it.  You know how people look when they're happy, right?"  Ramza pointed to the corners of his mouth.  "It's all right here…draw them out wide, and if you do it right, your cheeks will feel a little puffy."

        _Oh, God…this is so embarrassing…I feel like an idiot doing this…_  "Like thi-"

        "No, no, Agrias.  You're thinking too hard about it."  Ramza put his warm hands upon her cheeks.  "Just relax, first.  Get a happy thought into your mind, and just smile."  Ramza put a big smile on his face.

        _Alright…just think happy thoughts…maybe like the dream I had the other night…yes, like that dream.  Just the two of us sitting on those grassy hills, eating sandwiches I didn't even know I could make…and the way he seemed to enjoy it all so very much…that made me happy…_  While staring out into the darkness, a quiet smile drew across Agrias' face.

        "Just like that!" Ramza exclaimed, startling Agrias and drawing her out of her reverie.  "Oh, no, hey…I didn't mean for you to stop smiling…your smile just looked so natural then…so wonderful."  _I wish she'd smile like that all of the time…she'd easily pass for a princess in disguise if she'd just smile like that once a day…_

        "Wow…was I really smiling…?"  Agrias shook her head.  "It sure didn't feel like I was…"

        "Yeah, well, most people don't really notice whether they're smiling or not most of the time.  It mostly reflects the feelings and thoughts of the person; so if they're happy, they smile."  _Or something like that…_

        _Wow…I can actually smile!  Feels weird though…as if my face remembers how to smile, but simply refuses to do so now…thanks, Ramza.  _"Hey, Ramza…thanks for everything tonight…" she finally said, trying her best to put a smile on her face.  _This 'smiling' thing made me more tired than that short battle…_

        _She must be tired…she probably doesn't even realize that she's sleeping so close to me…ahh well…who am I to complain…_

_        "Good night, Ramza."_

_        "You too, Agrias."  __And sleep well…so you can smile more tomorrow…_

A Cruel Destiny

(A story about Miluda and Delita)

        Lenalia Plateau.  In the early hours of a single spring morning every year, a flower which almost no one knows exists suddenly blooms there, sad and quiet.  For but an hour, its petals dance upon the morning dew, blow in the cool morning winds, petals of red and purple swaying gracefully in the light.  And just like that, its life is over; short, beautiful, and sincere.  The flower dies, its petals scattering before anyone can see its solemn beauty.  I only know of its existence because of one particular morning. 

        That morning, I remember like it was yesterday.  Just before our battle with Miluda, I spotted such a flower hiding by a small cliff.  I went to watch it, seeing the crimson and lavender petals waver in the morning's breeze.  It was about the time at which the flower's colors dispersed, that Miluda had chosen to bring a patrol of the Death Corps straight upon our path.  Delita, Amy, Brett, Partha, Chris and I went to meet them.  Both sides fought with vigor and courage; I myself went with Delita to attempt to take Miluda out early.  I went first, charging in quite foolishly with my Long Sword drawn.  I took a wide swing toward her right, which she easily parried, and knocked me far to the side.  Delita fared far better than I had; swinging first high and then low, he caught her off guard and managed to strike hard and break her shield.  However, as the two exchanged blows, I could see that, however slowly, Delita was starting to falter.  It was probably because Miluda lived and struggled against the world around her constantly, that she was so much stronger.  Hoping for a lucky break, I finally managed to gather enough courage to grab my dagger and charge her from the side.

        Those next few moments seemed so slow.  I got to her side, tackled her down, and as I went flying over her, she dropped her sword; at that time, Delita, after expertly disposing of her weapon, took a swing down upon her, which she just barely managed to avoid, rolling to her left, and into me.  We struggled for what seemed to be an eternity, her angry, pained face forever etched into my mind.  When she managed to wrench my dagger from my hand, I thought it was all over…until Delita brought a crushing blow down upon her back.  It tore through her armor, and she screamed as she struggled for a breath.  Losing her strength, she fell flat against my chest, and the battle was over.  Her remaining soldiers fled, and she fell to my side and rolled onto her back.

        "…heh…" she managed through her pain.

        "Why did you fight?" I asked her.  "You wouldn't have suffered like this if you had simply surrendered to us earlier." As I waited, she simply turned her head to the side, letting some of the reddish liquid in her mouth spill out.

        "…How can we blame her?"  Delita asked as he knelt beside us.  "No noble ever showed her kindness…compassion, or even respect.  She has every right to be angry with us."

        "Still…I wish it didn't have to come to this…" I sighed as I pulled out a water bottle.  I poured some onto a cloth and tried to wipe whatever blood I could from her face.

        "…I…kind of w-wish…cough…that there were more nobles like you two…" she whispered.  "At…at l-least…you feel pain…r-remorse…" She continued to spit up more of her blood as she tried to talk.

        "Miluda…" I sat up, and took an old shirt out of my battle pack, which miraculously stayed on my back during the entire encounter.  I rolled it up and put it under her head.

        "…you…dream of a place…cough…which isn't…real…cough…"  Tears came to her eyes, and she spit more of her blood out onto the already crimson grass.  "B-but at least…at least you…c-care."

She attempted a sort of smile, which looked really pitiful, with all of the blood and pain twisting the intended expression.

        "I'm sorry, Miluda…" Delita brushed some of the blood-matted hair from her face.  "Does it still hurt a lot?"

        "…heh…not really."  Miluda threw up a bit more of the blood.  "I'm almost dead anyway…b-but…at least it's getting…easier to talk…"

        "Sometimes, I hate my status, my rank."  Delita looked down at the ground.  "I mean, if you had only been a noble too…and a fine one you would have been…"

        "Don't say…that." Miluda scoffed.  "Nobles…they all deserve to burn.  But…you…it's almost…almost as if you were born poor…like us."

        "Funny you should say that…because my father wanted the same humility for both of us."  I proceeded to remove Miluda's armor, at which point she flailed her left hand at me.

        "It's alright.  I…used to sleep…in this often."  Miluda smiled as best she could, even with blood trickling from her mouth.  "You know…this world would…be so much better…with nobles like you…"  She let a little more blood trickle from her mouth.  "…heh…amazing what…we commoners…can do…on the verge of death…"

        "Don't say that…please.  Algus may think so, but we don't feel there's much difference between commoners and nobles."  I put another wet cloth on her head, and began wiping blood away from her now-broken breastplate.  "Are you sure you don't want this off?"

        "Yeah…it's alright."  Her breathing became shallower, and she closed her eyes.  "If…you two wouldn't…mind, could…I say something to Delita?"

        "Yeah, sure."  I grabbed my pack, but left the water and the towels, and headed down the hill to talk to the others.

        About ten minutes later, Delita came down also, carrying the dead knight's body in his arms.  I had no idea then what she might have said to him, but he told me the whole story sometime later.  I guess it was better that I hadn't been there to hear it; love confessions are supposed to be private, after all.  Miluda really liked Delita; maybe for his down-to-earth views, which unlike mine, were far more realistic, or just because it was him.  I don't know for sure, but he did want me to tell Wiegraf for her that she was sorry.           To this day, that flower still blooms there.  It stands as the only marker to the grave of a brave knight, whose name history has all but forgotten.  Its crimson-colored petals still show the sadness of a maiden who died there so many years ago.

Sorry for the EXTREMELY long wait.  I know most of my readers probably gave up on this one…but for all you new ones, please read, review and enjoy!  And for those old reviewers still reading my stuff, thanks a whole bunch!  ^_^


	4. Chapter IV: Even More Poems

Misplaced Writings

An FFT Fanfic

I seriously don't want to place any long, drawn-out disclaimers, so I'll say my piece here.  Final Fantasy Tactics, the copyrighted character names, and almost everything in here basically is the sole property of Square (Squaresoft in America).  I will have a few of my own characters throughout the stories, but for the most part, you will know which ones are mine.  Okay, my piece is done.  Please read & review!

This is my third chapter of poems.  I hope that using this format, my poems and stuff won't be stuck so far in the back of the FFT story listing!

Please read, review, and enjoy!

Contents:

*New*

1) A lifetime of Love (Ramza/Agrias) (Agrias)

A Lifetime of Love

(A poem from Agrias' journal)

When at last our journey ends,

And we all go our separate ways…

I hope that you will let me stay,

So that we may have more happy days.

Although the wounds of battle mend,

And the crimson blood washes away,

Scars in the heart will never end,

Scraping at our souls to the very last day.

Let me be by your side, I plead.

Your guidance shows me the path I seek.

The road to love, devoid of greed,

The sanctuary of the peaceful and meek.

Over the years, you've changed a lot.

I cannot say that it was all for good.

But I, too, have gained, and not,

And in all, we got as much as we could.

And although our souls are stained with sin,

Our hands reeking of the blood of others,

We followed the voices of our hearts within,

And fought as a team, sisters and brothers.

So tonight, I write this to you, my love.

Share with me your pain, your sorrow.

Let us spend time, under the stars above,

And look forward to a better tomorrow.


End file.
